Facial expressions say a lot before any words come out of your mouth.
They can make people feel welcomed, judged, or even shut down. Learning to manage the look on your face is a simple way to communicate with more respect and professionalism.
Why your face matters
Your face shows what you’re feeling, even if you don’t say a word. If you look annoyed, bored, or angry, people will notice right away. A tight jaw, squinty eyes, or raised eyebrows can show you’re impatient or judging, changing the whole mood of a talk.
If someone asks you something when you’re tired or frustrated, and your eyebrows go up or your mouth tightens, they could think you’re mad at them. Such a quick reaction can make them feel bad or not want to talk again.
How Expressions Shape Conversations
Facial expressions are a big part of how we communicate without words. They can either back up what you’re saying or contradict it.You might say “It’s fine,” but if you look irritated, people will believe your face more than your words. This can hurt trust and make others feel uncomfortable sharing ideas.
At work, a manager or team member who looks annoyed can stop conversations. But a calm, open expression encourages others to join in and ask for what they need. Be aware that in any conversation your face and nonverbal signs impact that interaction.
Here are three ways to control your expressions so you can stay calm and formulate an assertive and professional response:
Release the Tension
When a conversation makes you feel angry, your face may tighten up. Free the tension by slowing moving the muscles in your face (chin, forehead, mouth). Soften your bite and move your jaw. Lower your eyebrows, intentionally, so they are relaxed. If you are in private (taking a phone call) move your mouth as if you were chewing gum. If you are in person, try clenching and unclenching your toes, so it’s less obvious.
Take Deep Breaths
Deep breaths calm your body and face. They relax your muscles and reduce the urge to react negatively. Breathing also clears your mind, helping you listen better and choose your words wisely. Instead of reacting from irritation, you can respond calmly and respectfully.
Change Your Thoughts
Your face shows what you’re thinking. If you think negative thoughts like “This is a stupid question” or “I can’t believe they did that,” your expression will show it. People will see your judgment, even if you don’t say anything. To change your expression, try changing your thoughts. Ask yourself why the other person is saying what they are. Maybe they are confused, worried, or trying their best. Focusing on understanding them instead of feeling irritated will soften your face. Kind or curious thoughts lead to a kinder, more open expression.
Quick Tips for managing facial expressions:
- Relax your jaw, mouth, and forehead before you speak.
- Take a few slow, deep breaths when you feel upset.
- Notice your first reaction, but pause before showing it.
- Focus on why they’re sharing, not how you feel.
- Listen with a neutral or open face, avoid looking annoyed or bored.
Putting it all together
Your face shows what you’re feeling during every conversation. With a bit of practice, you can keep your expression calm and match it with what you want to say. This helps you deal with tough questions, frustrating moments, and emotional talks without giving the wrong impression.
To learn more about audience perception check out the Improving Communications Presentation Skills curriculum. If you’re looking for ways to improve your overall communication skills, register for one of our upcoming public classes in NYC.
Other Resources:
Want to be a successful leader? Try changing your facial expressions!
You Are What You Do: 16 Ways To Improve Body Language
Beyond Writing and Speaking is Body Language
Image by White77 on PixaBay
Rich Atkins is the Managing Director of Improving Communications, a New York-based corporate training firm that, in addition to Speaker Services, offers Business Writing, Public Speaking & Presentation Skills, Sales and Negotiation, Customer Service, Leadership, Staff Development, and Human Resources training. He is also the Director of Improving Communications UK and Improving Communications IE.