Think about someone at work who is great at handling an upset customer. Or maybe they excel at defusing a tense meeting? Perhaps they just have a knack for keeping a stressful day from getting out of hand? None of that is luck, they are probably putting their Emotional Intelligence (EI) to use in the workplace. EI shapes how we handle the pressures of conflict and build stronger working relationships. Simply, it can be the difference between solving a problem and making it worse.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions while also understanding and responding to the emotions of others.
It Starts with Awareness
When you’re not aware of your own reactions, it’s easy to fall into patterns of frustration. You may find yourself getting impatient and defensive without realizing the impact on those around you.
Sometimes people can get irritated when they have to repeat themselves. Of course they won’t notice their own changed tone, or how it comes across. And while think they are moving things forward and being efficient, to the other person, it can feel dismissive. This is where communication will break down.
Once you notice your own triggers, you have more control. Sometimes it can be as simple as taking a breath and naming what you’re feeling before responding. That brief pause can prevent a quick reaction from turning into a bigger issue.
Managing the Moment
Stress is part of any job. There’s always another deadline around the corner, as well as dealing with when communication breaks down into difficult conversations. When you use EI, it can help you stay calm, think clearly, and handle situations without making them worse.
Emotional Intelligence, especially in the workplace, isn’t just about managing your own reactions. It comes down to keeping your own cool, while paying attention to what the other person might be feeling. You may not know what is going on in their world, but you can still choose patience over reaction.
When you have a frustrated customer, even a simple, “I can understand why you feel that way,” can help. It may not fix everything on the spot, but when a customer feels heard, it often lowers the temperature and moves the conversation in a better direction.
Tips to use Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
- Improve Communication
Think before you speak and pay attention to how your words may sound. Clear communication reduces confusion and keeps the focus on solving the problem. - Listen
People want to feel heard. Acknowledge their emotion, and keep the conversation moving toward a solution. - Self-Check, Peer Check
Stay aware of your own emotions and make space for other people’s perspectives. Build trust and make feedback easier. This keeps tension from building. - Manage Conflict
Stay calm, listen fully, and guide the conversation toward a workable next step. When things get tense, stay focused on fixing the issue and steer away from of pointing fingers.
Small Changes Make A Big Difference
Emotional intelligence shows up in the small choices, like pausing before you respond or noticing when your tone starts to shift. It gives you the balance to take a step back and think about how your words will land with the other person.
For example, If you were going to say, “You handled this badly,” make a choice to say “I’m frustrated. This could have been handled differently,” and keep the door open for discussion.
Everyone has feelings. That is part of work and part of being human. The choice is how you respond to them and how you respond to the people around you while you do.
The good news is that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned. The more aware you are of your own reactions, the easier it becomes to respond with a little more mindfulness and a lot less damage.
Just a few small changes in your reactions will make a difference in how people work with YOU and how you work with THEM.
This information is from our Leadership curriculum. If you’re looking for ways to improve your communication skills, register for one of our public classes.
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Rich Atkins is the Managing Director of Improving Communications, a New York-based corporate training firm that, in addition to Speaker Services, offers Business Writing, Public Speaking & Presentation Skills, Sales and Negotiation, Customer Service, Leadership, Staff Development, and Human Resources training. He is also the Director of Improving Communications UK and Improving Communications IE.